During the days leading up,
I am filled with excitement.
Finally some time alone.
As a married couple.
Away from the kids.
I love my children.
But I can't wait to drop them off.
As we pull up to my mother-in-laws house,
I get nervous.
I trust her. She will do a great job.
But it is my first time.
Without my tiny babe.
I have slept with him next to me or in my arms since the day of his birth.
119 days.
As we walk out the door,
We leave them behind
I miss them immediately.
I felt like a part of me is missing.
Like some extra appendages have just been removed.
But I trudge on.
Leaving them behind.
I am able to enjoy my night.
With my husband.
We enjoy a nice dinner,
Each others company.
It is like old times.
We laugh.
We love.
Then we get home.
To this empty shell of a home.
Empty of those little souls that tend to fill it with meaning, purpose, and life.
I cry.
I miss them even more.
I go to bed.
I clutch clothing they have worn.
All night.
Hold tight like my entire life depends on it.
Hold tight to the tiny pieces of cloth.
Close enough so I can breathe in their scent.
Close my eyes and believe they are there with me.
I dream of them this night.
Dream they are with me.
It is a day like any other.
Filled with Laughter.
Filled with Love.
***Obviously Luke had the same idea. I found him cuddling Caleb's pajamas :-)
